hello.
when I was a young child, I loved youtube. I subscribed to many channels. Most were comedy, some were news. smosh, fred, a lot of the big guys. some more esoteric people who I can't entirely remember, like this woman who sat at her desk and worked for a media company as a youtuber. eventually the company shut her channel down.
I stumbled upon one creator who I remember a great deal. her name was allofthetrash. I enjoyed her bizzare, low-res letsplays of unheard of cartridge games from the 70s and 80s. at some point I stopped watching the videos, and she eventually deleted her channel.
I still look for those videos, but have yet to find any.
as I grew older, I would find my way into internet communities. a chatroom in kingdom of loathing. the official forum for a web-based video game about forum trolls.
my favorite was the /r9k/ room in a mouse-themed multiplayer platforming game. edbye, oldliquids. lexie. funny people and a funny game.
but I always ended up getting banned or exiled from these communities. always eschewed. this pattern held strong through my teens. I don't think I was in control. It was autonomous.
I didn't go to high school. I went to community college. I had friends, and that let me think I was socially well-adjusted. But eventually I would use extreme political views would as a way of pushing them away.
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